Monday, August 24, 2009

"Forgiving Yourself"...?

I was recently linked to the following page : This article states that it is unbiblical for one to forgive themselves. It stated that there is /nothing/ in the Bible that talks about forgiving yourself. It states that when you do something that you regret, something that makes you feel horribly guilty, and you feel like you'll be living with it for the rest of your life, that it's not yourself that you've sinned against. You've sinned against God.

However, the Bible states over, and over, and over, that Jesus died on the Cross, bearing our sin and shame. No matter what horrible sin we've done, we've been forgiven, even if it feels like we've scarred ourselves for the rest of our lives.

The past that I lived, the strange, twisted past, even typing about it, or thinking about it makes me feel guilty. I feel guilty that I was in sin for so long (5 years), and still called myself a Christian. I feel guilty that I hated myself so much, that I hated who I was because I got made fun of all the time. I feel guilty that I went so far as to pray to spirits for power and not God. I feel guilty that I self-hypnotized myself, and would go on long treks outside and act like a wolf.

I feel guilty that I tried to let a spirit inside my body, in a sense offering my body to a demonic being so that I could escape who I was. I feel guilty that I hated wolves after I stopped it all, because they are God's creatures. I feel guilty that sometimes I still misplace my confidence in the idea of losing my humanity as a means to become a monster to get power and exude a beastly confidence somehow. I feel guilty when I dream of turning into a werewolf or whatever it is, and waking up and... (not gonna go there.)

I feel guilty that I was a Furry for a little while for the sake of finding confidence in a new identity. I feel guilty for wasting my nights sometimes, looking at comics and scenes on YouTube that depicted transformation. I feel guilty that I forsook my family and friends when I was younger because of my self-deprication.

There's... a lot of baggage that I have here, as you can see. However, I didn't sin against myself. I didn't do myself wrong. I did God wrong. I sinned against the Father.

My sins in my past are some of what put Jesus on the cross.

But, there's another picture here. Yes, I sinned. I did some really bad things, and I sinned against God something awful...

But despite my sin, Jesus loved me. Despite all my wrongs then, Jesus loved me. He loved me so much, despite all the things I did, despite my blaspheming, that he had nails drove into his arms, and he hung on a tree on calvary for me. He died for my sins and rose to life three days later, and promised that if I placed my faith in him, I would be set free.

He didn't just take "some" of my sins then. Jesus paid it ALL! Jesus took my sin and shame, and he put it to death, and promised me NEW life! If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has GONE!!! The new has COME! I am a new creation! You can be too!

Saturday, August 8, 2009

The secret has to die!

For awhile now, as some of you know, I've chosen to leave the furry fandom. The way it looks, I don't know if I'll ever come back to furry--not because I don't think I can take it, but because I'll be met with the inescapable feeling that I'll have to hide it from people... and I hate secrets with a burning passion.

A lot of furries keep this a secret from their family, or certain friends, and even if they have told their parents, they can't seem to get approval. Why is this? I don't know... From what I can tell, conservative parents (err, some) immediately think it's some kinda cult thing. If they don't think that, they just think it's "weird," especially when yiff comes into the picture.

Furry, I believe, could be an AWESOME way to glorify God. However, hardly anyone seems to be doing that. Furry is kept in the shadows as a secret, and even a guilty pleasure at times. I firmly believe that the secret is destroying lives all around. Nobody shows their furry art to their parents, especially if it's TF (transformation) art or inflated furry art... at least, I didn't. Nobody's showing their parents stories they write or RPs they do.

Why don't they show them? Why don't they show it off to family or friends? Is it because it's "furry"?

There's no harm in artwork, stories, or heck even making a fursuit. No harm at all... so why do people hide it? What's the point?

Furry isn't what one is, it's one one likes to do. It's art, not some weird cult or a bad secret that should never be told.

The secret has to die... for the sake of family and friends alike.